Crawling Under

Do you ever just have those really awful days where you want to crawl into your bed, put the covers over your head, turn the light off, and pretend the world doesn’t exist? Of course you do! Who doesn’t have those days?

Well I’ll tell you right now…today is like that for me. Let’s start off by how I spent my whole day helping some friends out only to come to the realization that I was just used. “What are you talking about” you ask? Here’s the story (beware…this is going to already be a long post)

So within my church are these things called “small groups” (bunch of people get together to talk about the message) well mine is called “Young Adults” so it’s a bunch of people my age. Anyways, our group leader is getting older and no longer a young adult per say so one meeting at the end he mentioned that if anybody was interested in taking over to give him a shout. Well I’ve been going to this small group for about a year now so I know how well it works. So I of course tell him I’m very interested. So for about a month now, I’ve been included in group text messages, Facebook groups, group decisions etc… With the group leader & co-leader. So what would be your thought during this month? It would probably be “sweet! I must be taking over soon.” Right?


We are getting a 30 second commercial filmed on Wedensday with our group leader talking about our group and why young adults should join blah blah. So I spent about half my day walking around the mall with the leader &co-leader picking out an outfit for him and then sitting down and helping him figure out what to say within these 30 seconds. At the end of everything I am told that since I’m getting married I basically am not going to be a group leader. Not even a co-leader. They said my attention will be focused on the wedding. When I told them no it would be fine I know how to balance I was simply shut down and told that someone else is taking “the job”.

INSTEAD, I am going to be a part of another mini group with the leader and my “job” is to post on the group Facebook page and then give feedback about the meetings we have. Thoughts? My emotions were very upset and then thinking to myself how much bullshit that is. 

NEXT- I go to this football game with a group of friends and we had this last minute tag along guy who…..acted different. But he was having fun doing his own thing and dancing around, making noise and so on. The people in front of us were drunk idiots and making fun of him whenever he would dance. Now I have a pretty big heart. So when I saw this I started crying. He’s doing nothing wrong. He’s being himself and doing what makes him happy. They were recording him on Snapchat and making fun. Ok that’s all I’ll say because the more I think about it, the more I get upset and I don’t want to cry again. 

So when we finally got home I just exploded in tears and cried for about 20 minutes about the small group thing and then the football game. I honestly hate this day so freaking much. I mean how much can this day get worse? The only good thing about this is its 11:23 p.m. The day is over, everyone’s in bed & leaving me alone. 

Ramble over. 



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